• joshflayhart

Where is the Love?

In these trying times I can't help but have a voice that groans over our suffering and lack of unity. Oh God, You created man that You are mindful of him (Psalm 8:4-8), and yet there is so much suffering. So much division. What are You teaching us? Why the continued segregation?


I have Jewish family that has seen suffering for generations upon generations. I know black individuals that have experienced hardship all their life. Why these people, Lord? Forgive me, I am not doubting Your love, I just want to understand all this racial divide, this hate towards Your children. Lord, You are a diverse God! Your love is unconditional towards race. You created race. You love diversity, yet solidarity among Your people. Your heart aches as you see us turn against each other. Then again, Your Word teaches us and warns us of persecution. That if we follow You, we will be persecuted. Then again, we had unity in the garden, but we blew it. Now this... so where is the love, God? Where is the hope amidst sin and hardship that we can unite as one people, created by a loving, diverse God?


Straight up, I'm a privileged white male that's living a privileged life. I never knew a day where I was afraid of police or had to live differently to avoid racial conflict. I even think of the #MeToo movement and despise my male brethren for asserting themselves that way. Grow up, men! I am appalled at how black people, Your people Lord, have been treated over the centuries and even to this day. It's unthinkable. Quite frankly, because of this we were almost too afraid to adopt bi-racial children when we started the adoption journey. It wasn't because Kara and I had personal issues adopting bi-racial kids, we had no problem with that. The problem we had was we're in the South and what complex will our kids have growing up? What will others thing of them? What will black communities have against them? Will white communities judge them? If they're not quite black and not fully white, then who will they think they are? We also had counsel of other friends who have adopted black children and we heard horror stories of how they've been judged by both black and white people. So yeh, we were terrified at the prospect. The world is harsh. We didn't want the kids to feel some misplaced sense of identity. But as you now know, the case for these twins and a toddler, now our kids, popped up and our hearts leapt for joy. We couldn't deny the wonderful emotions we felt for them and all fears were wiped away. It got to the point where my heart, gut, and everything within me was screaming: "I don't care what others think! Bring it world! Judge all you want, I know you will!" I wasn't jeering or taunting, it felt more like standing up to a bully and overcoming it. Love and courage is quite simple really, we will get through this together. As one family. Cause that's who we are. We're a family and nothing and no one will rip us apart, not racial divide, not judgement, and especially nothing can disrupt God's will (ie adoption). Even right now, I hear Switchfoot's song, I Dare You to Move, where one verse sings "Between how it is and how it should be". None of this is how it should be, but we're just doing what we can with how things are. We didn't ask for infertility, but honestly we'd do it again to get our children and only these children. I can't see our lives any other way nor do I want it any different.


An incredible man had a dream once. All of us living together black and white. What happened to that? In all honesty, this may as well be the 1950s and 60s. I believe any racial injustice today means we have not worked anything out since then. Decades later we've still got a very long way to fulfill that dream. You want unity? So do I. Let's fight racial injustice together. Why can't we do that as a world? As one? Where is the love?

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© 2019 by Josh and Kara Flayhart

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